You believe you"ve changed. That you've stopped trying to be better.
Higher, than what you are now. You haven't become what you can be.
Never let go of that awareness. That light that still allows you to see yourself honestly.
That awareness of self will not get blinded by the million colours around you, nor by the continuous stream of sound and touch. It will die, however, with the fading away of your conscience, of your search for the divine, eternal peace.
And it will die so slowly, yet so fast, so painfully, yet so smoothly...like a little leaf, pulled off a tree by the harsh wind..and then it floats away gently...unnoticed, in the air. Watch that leaf. Let it blossom and grow.
You want to be better. higher. yet you walk in the other direction, you try to walk on the sea, and think you will be stable, firm. Learn to swim or go back on land.
What you have thought cannot be "un-thought",
what you have felt, created memories, that cannot vanish. What you have known cannot be forgotten, "un-learnt".
Your not going back, but your not moving forward.
Who do you want to be? Can you see yourself? perfect? Wise, humble, kind, filled with love and peace? successful?
See it...feel it..flowing through your veins..and become it.
You know what you have to do for only you know what you really want.
Do it..and you will see real joy entering your life; peeking through your windows and laughing at your door. Calling you.."come, celebrate!, for you are your highest self!"
What didn't God give you? Love in your heart or strength in your body? Vision in your eyes, sound in your ears..Breath for your soul and a mind. And yet you let it all slowly die.
Slowly become a machine. Wake up! see what you can have if you give it to yourself! You will hear time and see thunder!....You will hear existence dancing for you. You will hear your angels prayers.
But instead, you choose to be the little leaf...fallen in a little mud puddle.
Regards,
Chris Redfield
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